How To Do It Gracefully.

Time seems to be passing by so quickly.  There are reminders of how quick everything is moving every day as I watch my kids grow up, there are so many moments when they remind me of myself when I was young.

I'm not the fresh, full of energy, young, new mom I used to be.  I'm a little (OK a lot) cranky, my body aches, my bones creek and I feel tired and haggard most days.

I still want to be the happening girl in the cut-off shorts, with the firm legs, without jiggly arms and dark circles under her eyes.  

Over the weekend, I came to the realization that those days are gone forever.  Gabby headed to the St. Patrick's Day parade with a group of friends.  She borrowed my favorite green boots and sported a pair of cute (and short) cut-off shorts.  I looked at her in amazement as my mind flashed back to a picture of myself 20 years ago. 

"You so remind me of myself when I was younger!"  

Gabby rolls her eyes.  She can never take me seriously when I talk about being young, as if I was always just an old mom.  

I send her off, go down to the basement to dig out that old photo of myself.  Yes, in my mind I was hot stuff.  I take some time to think about all the years that are in between this photo and now.  So much has happened, so much time has passed, I have grown up so much.

Eric says I need to embrace getting old and enjoy it.  He is cuter than ever.  I love him with his bald head and his distinguishing grey hairs in his beard.  He has it all figured out.   His mother carries herself cool
and confident.  My mother is lively and vibrant.  They are all examples of how being older doesn't have to be tragic.  I am not there yet.  For some reason I feel like something in my life will change when I admit that I am an older woman.  I look at people on the streets and say, "I'm not that old", when I really am "that old".  I guess I'm still growing up and maturing.

I have read a few articles on the art of growing old gracefully.  I guess it's time to start figuring out how to do it gracefully with some style, fun and dignity.  Any suggestions?

Hey, Isn't That Papa?

The girls with papa at the rodeo in Michigan.

We don't have to engage in grand, heroic actions to participate in the process of change. Small acts, when multiplied by millions of people, can transform the world.

—
Howard Zinn
I read this quote a few days ago, and knew it meant something to me, I just couldn't figure it out right then.  Last night we attended Brillianteen's production of Grease that Gabby is currently a cast member in.  I went last week with Gabby's Grandma.  This was Eric and Sinobia's first time seeing the show.  
Sinobia was cruising through the program book when she noticed her papa's name listed on the William E. Harper Special Award page.  "Hey, isn't that Papa?"  I hadn't noticed this last week as I looked through the program book, she immediately recognized his name,  Dennis Drummer.  
This award is given each year to an adult who shows exceptional leadership in service to youth in Evanston. It was awarded to papa in 1993, a year before Gabby was born.  
My dad was a hero to me, my girls and many other children in Evanston.  He cared about the youth of Evanston, but especially the African-American youth, who had limited access to so many opportunities in our community.  I believe that many of the ways that I operate within the community and professionally have a lot to do with the many years I watched my dad give of his time, energy and money to the youth in the city of Evanston.
Aha!  Now the quote makes sense to me.  My dad lived the message of the quote every day of his life.  

Sinobia and papa in Louisiana.

Gabby and papa on Easter Sunday.

So Last Year!

A few days ago, Sinobia and I were singing in the car.

"Sinobia, what are you going to sing for this year's talent show?"

"Mom, I thought I told you, I don't way to be a pop star anymore...I want to be a journalist!"

"OK?"

"That was so last year!"

She's right, it is so last year. 1 year ago.  I looked it up and found the video that I took of Sinobia singing at the Dawes Talent Show last year (February 19th, 2011).  She was so confident, singing her song (even though she messed up a little, but covered it up).  A few months later, she tried out for Evanston Idol, but didn't make it.  (I tried to upload her audition video, but I think they rigged it so that I couldn't reproduce it).

She still kept right on singing:)

Sinobia is my kid that wakes up happy in the morning.  You know she's awake because she starts singing as soon as she wakes up.  She sings in her room all day long, sings in the shower, sings in the car, sings at the dinner table!  Lately she has been singing in Spanish!  I know she's alive and happy when she is singing.

So in honor of my little song bird, 1 year later, I am posting her "so last year" talent show video.  Who knows, maybe she can be a pop-star and a journalist.  either way, I don't think she's going to stop singing any time soon.