College Girl.

I have a college student now.  I'm currently sitting in the San Jose airport trying not to start sobbing, for fear that people will think I am crazy.  Well, I am crazy.  I'm crazy for thinking that I could drop Gabby off at school and not feel sad.  Crazy to think that I had it all together and was stronger than every other mom in the world that has dropped her kid off at school.  Crazy to think that a hug, a smile, a pat on the back and a high-five with a "kick some ass in college" chant would be enough.

We moved Gabby into her dorm room on Saturday morning.  I was fine, totally in work mode.

I cried Saturday night.  It finally hit me that the room we had spent all day decorating and filling with some comforts of home, was in fact going to be Gabby's new home.

I think I also cried on Saturday night because for the first time in 18 years, I realized that this journey Gabby was embarking on was completely out of my control.  I won't be there to help her make friends, this isn't the first day of kindergarten.  I am leaving her in a new place, in a new situation where she knows not a single person.  I won't be there to read her mind and decode her moods.  I won't be in control of anything.  I am leaving my girl on her own to grow up, mature and create her future.  I have to step back and be less of a participant and more of a spectator in this process.  My tears on Saturday were for the loss of my smothering-mothering phase in Gabby's life.

The final touches went into Gabby's dorm room on Sunday.  Lunch and dinner together and then the final goodbye.  We dropped her off in front of her dorm building. Sinobia at first gave a little "see ya later" pat on the back and then went back for more of a hug.  Eric...I'll let him Facebook about his goodbye.  Gabby is his first born, our Guinea pig child. He is beyond proud of her (and himself for being such a great dad).

I kept it together.  I told Gabby I didn't want to cry, I wanted to be strong for her, I am so happy for her, so very proud of her.  I gave her a huge hug, she hugged me back (I almost lost it then).  "Do you want me to walk you in?"  I was getting soft.  "No mom, I'll be OK."

Another hug and then she went walking in to her new home, her college dorm.  As soon as she disappeared around the corner, I lost it.  A moan and a wail, then the tears started to flow...it was ugly.  Sinobia was stunned.  "I've never heard you cry out loud" is what she told me later.

This has to be one of the hardest things I have ever had to do in my parenting life...let my kid go.  It probably wouldn't be so bad if she were in Iowa or Indiana, but she is all the way across the country.  Now I  understand why fellow parents and friends have told me to "Hang in there", "I'll be there for you", "Call me if you need me", "It will all be OK".  My heart is aching, I can't describe it.  Only a parent that has done this can understand.

I hear it gets better, easier with time.  I think once I hear her voice in a few days or weeks and hear the comfort and confidence in her voice of a somewhat-transitioned college student, then I will feel a little better.  I'll keep you posted.

I am so very happy for Gabby.  She has wanted to be in California for so long.  I know she will get the hang of college life very quickly.  I am so very proud of Eric and I for being the parents that we have been.  It hasn't been easy, but these proud/sad moments make it all worth while.

Oh, poor Sinobia.  She doesn't know what she is in for.  She is now an only child at home, all eyes on her:)

Good Luck Gabby!  Miss you already!

We Made It!

We made it into San Jose this evening!  Three days was all it took for us to get to California.  

This morning we left Nevada and continued West. 

I think I have had my fill of mountains.  There seemed to be endless roads that go through mountains, around mountains or just run next to the mountains. 

Right before lunch, we decided to take a little detour to go see Lake Tahoe.  We had a little lunch by the lake and then the girls rented a paddle board and tried it out for the first time.

At some point during the paddle board adventure, we noticed smoke coming out of the mountains...another brush fire.

So we packed it in and headed up the mountain (and back down again), driving through some pretty heavy smoke.  I got some really great shots of the sky filled with smoke!

Dinner downtown San Jose and now safe and sound in our hotel room.  Tomorrow Gabby and Eric will give Sinobia and I a tour of the San Jose campus:)

Moving Further West

Today we left Wyoming and drove through Utah.  

We stopped in Echo Canyon for some photos and lunch, then stopped in Salt Lake City for an oil change and Jamba Juice, before heading further west into Nevada. 

I tried to stay awake most of the day today to check out the scenery.  

Along the way we caught some billowing smoke coming out of the mountains.  We assumed it was some sort of brush fire.

We passed through the Bonneville Salt Flats...

and then rode off into the sunset, settling in for the night in a fine casino resort in Nevada.

Onward West tomorrow!

Family Road Trip. Destination....San Jose State University!

There have been so many "good-bye" moments over the last few days.  Gabby will begin her Freshman year of college in a few days.  The farewells were not as I would have predicted.  I imagined Gabby slipping out of town, with very little fan-fare, calling as little attention to herself as possible.  It didn't go down like that at all.  There was a weekend full of parties, sleepovers, get-togethers and tears. On Monday, as we packed Gabby up, at the last minute, there continued to be a stream of friends and family stopping by to give Gabby hugs, kisses and wishes of good luck.  At one moment there were 5 girls on the couch, then girls outside having a picnic in the yard, girls crying in the living room and then aunts, cousins, grandma and more friends stopping by.  

Finally, around mid-night Gabby was packed and ready to go.  

By 6:00 am we were in the car, heading west.

Picnic's and couch time @ the Aiden House

"The Last Supper"  Farewell dinner @ the Brennan's house

Grandma's First Grandkid is off to college

Cousins get together for pizza and some final hugs.

We are on our way to San Jose State University.  It's our family road trip to take Gabby to college!

I slept through Iowa.  Apparently there is not much to see in that state anyway.  

Nebraska was a coffee stop and an Instagram photo opportunity.  

I couldn't resist taking a picture of the Poop Deck sign!

We have settled in Wyoming for the night.  Dinner, some TV, blogging and a comfy bed!  

More states to pass through tomorrow.

Congratulations, Farewell, Good Luck, See You For Christmas!

On Sunday afternoon we threw Gabby a Graduation/Going-Away/Trunk Party @ Lovelace Park.  She will be leaving home and heading to San Jose State University in 1 week!

Gabby was surrounded by friends and family that wanted to send her off to college with plenty of love and dorm room essentials.

Since Gabby hates being the center of attention, no toast, no speech and no tears were allowed.  Everyone at the party did, however, write a note filled with love, advice and wisdom for her "party memory book".

So now she's got a trunk filled with sheets and towels, a book filled with memories and notes and a heart filled with love.  What else do you need for college?  Oh yeah, a case of Ramen Noodles!

Good Luck Gabby!  We are all so very proud of you!

...and see you for Christmas!