Happy Father's Day!

 

Eric is a gift to any child that comes in contact with him.  He is humble, kind, caring and generous of his love, affection and time.

Before we even considered getting married, I knew that I wanted Eric to be the father of my children.  We were young and figured, "Who needs to be married?"  We were going to have a family without the formalities of marriage.  There was not a doubt in my mind that with or without a marriage certificate, Eric would always be there for his children, guiding them, loving them, and giving them all the support they need to succeed in life.

Of course, once I became pregnant with Gabby,  my father was furious at our idea.  "What are you guys thinking?"  "What about the kids!?" and my favorite..."what would I tell my children when they asked me, "who's my daddy mommy?"  It was difficult to convince my dad that we knew what we were doing.  He adored Eric and knew he would make a fantastic dad, but didn't get our "young and immature thinking."

Several months down the road, we did get married.  My dad was so proud and excited.  Since I'm his only girl, he never questioned the expense of our wedding and encouraged me to take advantage of the fact that he only had to do this once:)  I always knew Eric was the guy for me.  It became even more crystal clear the moment Gabby was born, that I had been right all along...he was going to be the best dad ever.

I'm not sure what the girls would say on most days about their dad being "the best".  As with all kids, as a parent he is annoying, weird and embarrassing most of the time.  What I do know is that Eric shares a special bond with his girls that brings tears to my eyes when I think about it.  They know he is there for them forever and always.  He is tough, strict, stern and at the same time fun, silly and fair.  As I have said before, I believe that he is their first true love (which is going to make it hard for any guy to beat!)

Yesterday, for Father's Day, Eric participated in the Ricky Byrdsong Memorial Race Against Hate 5K run.  This was his first 5K and a big deal for him.  Although the girls were slow to get up at 6:30 am to get Eric to the run, they proudly watched him line up at the start line, take off and then they anxiously awaited to cheer him on as he passed under the finish line.  We were all proud of him, especially the girls.  What a great way for the girls to start Father's Day...Cheering on the guy that cheers them on every day of their lives!

Happy Father's Day Eric!

Summer Time!

Just when you think that summer will never get here, it starts to come at you really fast!  The end of the school year is a crazy time of year, especially when your family is at 3 different schools.  There are the end of the year parties, ceremonies, concerts, gifts, blah, blah, blah...

So, I am blaming the end of the year stuff on why I haven't blogged in a while.  Wow,  a lot of stuff has been going on as we were closing out our school year.

Sinobia cashed in her birthday gift.  She wanted a scuba lesson as a birthday gift and wanted to bring Gabby along for the fun.  So, sometime in May, I finally made good on my promise and signed them up for a scuba lesson.  Sinobia was of course, a natural in the water.  She needed about 5 minutes of instruction and then didn't come up for air (or a break) for another 30-40 minutes.  Gabby said Sinobia kept doing crazy tricks under water, taking her mouth piece out, blowing bubbles and then putting it back in (all while still under water).  Gabby was a little nervous at first, but started to feel comfortable after a few short dives.  After that, it was pretty much me looking lonely, because know one came up for a while.

Gabby was inducted into the National Honor Society in May.  It was a short but sweet candle light ceremony.  With college on the brain, she has been working really hard in school this year.  It has made Eric and my job easier, as we are doing a little less nagging..."Did you do your homework?"

 

Sinobia flew through 6th grade!  She loves everything about middle school and surprised us with her tween age work ethic when it comes to getting her school work done.  For all of her hard work, she was awarded a "High Flying Eagle" award for the 3rd marking period at Chute.  Another cute ceremony, but with a much better reception (pizza and cupcakes)!

And then there were the end of the year concerts (yea, orchestra videos!)....

Gabby was inducted into the TRI-M Music Honor Society this year, so she got a little shout-out during the Orchestra's Spring concert.   This concert is so long (2 1/2 hours on a Thursday evening)!  The only thing that keeps me awake is the fact that the orchestra is really good.

Sinobia, once again is the only bass player in the Chute 6th grade orchestra.  She is starting to understand that you can always hear the bass playing, so if she doesn't practice, we will all hear it.  This has motivated her to be a better bass player.  I think I recorded her faking some bass playing last year at the spring concert:)  This year, you can clearly see the difference 1 year makes in the life of a middle school kid.

Hmm....so, now all of the backpacks are piled up in the corner of our dining room.  Know one wants to unpack a years worth of stuff that has been shoved into our lockers.  Gabby started work on Monday and Sinobia is taking full advantage of some time off from school and swimming = sleeping all day!

I usually feel guilty about being off for the summer for the first week of vacations, so to ease my guilt, I have already cleaned out one closet!  I think today I'll do some laundry:)

Happy Summer!

Is This An "Epic Fail" Parenting Moment?

Wednesday night, the girls and I were driving home from Gabby's National Honor's Society induction ceremony (oh yeah, I'll blog about that later).  Gabby was wishing for rain on Thursday, "I love when I rains during the school day, it's so calming."  Sinobia agreed.

I on the other hand hate rain of school days.  If you don't know already, I teach Kindergarten.  Recess is an important part of our day.  We start our day outside and then go out again for our lunch recess.  Being inside all day makes me crabby and it makes the kids a little crazy.  We cherish our time outside.  We need the fresh air!

"Well, we don't have recess like you guys mom" says Gabby.

"Mom, you take your kids outside anyway!" says Sinobia.

"You take your kids out even in the rain?" asks Gabby.

"Yes, we put on our raincoats, rain boots, hats, and whatever we need to stay dry.  If we don't have rain boots, occasionally we will just go outside barefoot and stomp in the puddles." is my reply.

Gabby becomes a little irritated at the fact that I take my kids outside to play in the rain and that I let them play barefoot "at school".

"Playing in the rain is one of the best childhood memories a kid can have.  I used to do it all the time, and I still remember the fun and excitement of it all."

"I can't believe that the parents let you do that!" is Gabby's "so Gabby", stick to the rules response.

"Have you never played in the rain Gabby?  I'm sure I let you play in the rain when you were little.  If you have never played in the rain, then I have failed as a parent in a major way!"

Sinobia:  "I remember playing in the rain."

Gabby: "Yes mom, I have played in the rain, but when I was little.  It just seems weird to me now."

(Whew...I thought this was going to be an epic fail moment in my parenting!!!)

Sinobia:  "Mom, can we still play in the rain?"

"Yes! I encourage you to play in the rain!  Have some fun, be a little adventurous, explore nature!"

What do you know.....It rains on Thursday!  Not only does it rain, it storms and hails!

Gabby, loving the calming effect of the rain, settles in on the back porch to do her homework.  Sinobia, of course, goes to stomp in puddles and jump on the trampoline!

Of course I had to video this moment...

Here it is!

At one point, the hail is coming down so fast and hard, that I am afraid that Sinobia will get a concussion if she is struck by a piece of hail on the head.  Gabby is delighted to watch her sister be a goof-ball in the rain, but only ventures out to grab a piece of giant-sized hail.

After dinner we all settle in on the back porch.  Eric comes home to find us all curled up in our chairs reading and doing homework.  Now I can check the "playing in the rain" experience off of of my kids childhood bucket list:)

Daisy Goes To Prom

I have been wanting to do some volunteering outside of my regular suburban stuff.  Today I went into the city to volunteer for a great organization that I have recently heard about and met a great 18 year old named Daisy.

The Glass Slipper Project collects new and almost-new formal dresses and accessories and provides them, free of charge, to students who are unable to purchase their own prom attire.  They distribute the dresses at the Glass Slipper "boutiques"each prom season, where each student receives individual assistance from a volunteer "personal shopper" as she shops for the dress of her dreams.
  
Today I was a personal shopper for Daisy.  She reminded me a lot of Gabby; she was certain of what she didn't like and pretty particular about getting exactly what she wanted.  She was not going to change her mind or let the idea of searching through thousands of dresses get in the way of her getting her dream prom dress.  


Daisy started by saying she wanted the color teal. We walked into the first room of dresses and as she browsed around, I found a really cute teal dress.  In predictable teenager fashion, her eyes got big with horror at my fashion suggestion.  She was polite and humble when telling me that my choice was not quite the one.  As the morning went on, we tried on pink, blue, brown, red, black and green.  After about 15-20 dresses, her Godmother decided to steer Daisy in a different direction and have her try on dresses that she may not necessarily like on the hanger, but they may look good on her.  


Off we go into the dressing room again.  Daisy tries on a beautiful red dress that fits her like it was made for her.  Her Godmother and I gasp as I zip up the last inch and we see her in this dress.  "This is the one!" we say in unison.  She is beaming, this could be the one.  There is another dress that she has brought into the dressing room, it is the very first teal dress I held up for her 2 hours ago!  She tries it on...."Oh my god, I love this dress!", is what she says:)  She tries on the red dress again and then the teal dress one more time.  This is truly the dress.  Her face beams in it, she is confident and feels beautiful.  It is glamorous with a touch of "bad-ass".   

Off we go to find shoes, make-up, jewelry, and accessories.  This part is easy now that we have found a dress.  3 hours later, Daisy and I hug, exchange emails (she promises to send me pictures from prom night!) and part ways.  She is excited, her Godmother is happy and I couldn't be more proud of the work that is being done today by this organization and the hundreds of volunteers that are working along side of me.

Gabby wanted to join me today, but you have to be 18 years old to volunteer.  She is looking forward to going along with me next year.  Anyone else want to join me?

http://www.glassslipperproject.org/

Happy Birthday Sinobia!!!

12 years ago, on April 11th, I woke up to a day full of things to do.  I was pregnant and scheduled to be induced the following day, as I had gotten too big and was completely miserable.  My original due date was April 14th, but my doctor gave in and agreed to let me pop early. 
I wanted to do my hair, finish my laundry, go to the grocery store and get a mani-pedi (I wanted to look good during labor). 

I woke up with contractions, but didn't pay them very much attention, as I was familiar with them from previous "pre-term" contraction scares.  I continued on with my day, visited my mom and returned home for a nap before my mani-pedi appointment.  Eric was home on this day too, I don't remember why.  He decided that he would run some errands while I took a nap.  The contractions were getting stronger, but I still continued to ignore them...I had to get things done.

Eric was gone about 30 minutes and I was laying in bed when all of a sudden my water broke!  Back then, 12 years ago, people still had pagers.  I paged Eric and sent a 911 message.  He immediately called home, to be informed that my water had broke and it was time to get to the hospital!

Flash forward and hour or so...I had refused to take any drugs for this birth.  I was going to go all the way, all natural.  I was so INSANE back then!  So, I am screaming at the top of my lungs, making a scene and scaring the shit out of Eric and everyone else in the maternity wing.  Gabby refuses to come into the room to see me, she is horrified by the sounds she hears coming out of my room.  My sister-in-law leaves the room (she blames it on my bad breath).  There is no doctor present, the nurses are trying to keep me calm, but I am in too much pain.

Finally I break down and decide, maybe an epidural is the way to go.  The nurses inform me that the anesthesiologist is in surgery and is not available.  Not available?????  I decide that I will endure the pain no longer and start to push!  The nurses are frantic, "You can't push now Tracy, you are not dilated enough and the doctor is not here yet.  She is on her way."  I don't care, I push anyway.  This baby had to come out right then! 
10 minutes later and about 6 pushes, Sinobia Carrie Aiden emerges into the world!  5 lbs. 14 oz. and 18 inches long. 

What a relief, what a joyful moment and what a beautiful blessing!

For 12 years, Sinobia has filled my life with love, joy and everlasting memories. She is an amazing little girl with a kind and generous heart.  She is my song-bird, always singing and my water-baby, always swimming.  She is confident, secure and a little cocky (as her sister would say).  She still is at times just as much of a "pain" as she was back in the hospital, but I wouldn't want her to be any other way:)

 

Happy Birthday Sinobia!

Happy Easter!

Happy Easter everyone!  Eric and Gabby have been in California for the past week on their first daddy/daughter college trip, so Sinobia and I have been spending our spring break together.  There has been lots of eating out, staying up late, sleeping late, pajama wearing, watching TV and goofing around.

We were slightly productive our first few days together; we visited the fabric store and crafted 2 homemade tutus for Sinobia.  The first one was a special "birthday" tutu (Sinobia's birthday is on April 11th) and our second one was an "Elmo-Easter" special tutu (beautifully modeled by Sinobia).  This second tutu looked especially cute with Sinobia's Elmo boots:)

Back to school tomorrow....I could certainly use a few more days of sleeping late, the past week has truly spoiled me.

We Are Pissed At Cancer

Gabrielle and Papa in Michigan

I've been missing my dad.  He has been on my mind at random times of the day lately; 6:30 am on my way to work, 11:45 am recess time, 4:00 pm chauffeur duty, 10:00 pm bedtime.  The memories of him are so strong that I find myself getting choked up, holding back tears that are swelling up in my eyes.  

This summer will be the 4 year anniversary of his death.  Eric, myself and the girls watched as my dad, a once strong, confident, independent and proud man succumbed to cancer within a matter of 8 months.  We sat beside my dad and helped care for him the last 2 weeks of his life.  This was a difficult 2 weeks, but I put on my big-girl face and took over my dad's role as the rational, level headed family member.  I wanted my dad to be proud of me for taking charge of the situation.  I wanted him to know that I was there to take care of him the way that he had taken care of me all of my life, with unconditional and everlasting love.  

This 2 week period was especially hard of Gabby, who hasn't figured out just what is the appropriate way for her to deal with death.  Gabby was my dads first grand child.   He had so many hopes and dreams for her, all of which he thought he would be around to witness.  They would talk at length about when she "grew up" and what the future (and Papa) had in store for her.  They fought, much like he and I fought when I was little; mostly be cause they are so much alike (as I am so much like my dad as well).  He pushed her to be her very best, challenged her to think about the world differently and opened up a world of opportunities (and his wallet) to her with just one little "Please Papa".

It is because of loosing my dad that we are pissed at cancer.  We loathe cancer and many times fear it.  I think it is because of our intense feelings for this disease that Gabby decided to join the 2012 Relay for Life of Evanston this year.  Please visit her personal fundraising web page:

http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR/RelayForLife/RFLFY12National?px=27600114&pg=personal&fr_id=37987

She states on her web page:

"I am participating in the American Cancer Society's Relay For Life because I want to make a meaningful difference in the fight against cancer.

Almost everyone has been touched by cancer, either through their own personal battle or through someone they love.  

Together, we can help make sure that Cancer never steals another year of someone's life!"

Halloween in Michigan with Papa

How To Do It Gracefully.

Time seems to be passing by so quickly.  There are reminders of how quick everything is moving every day as I watch my kids grow up, there are so many moments when they remind me of myself when I was young.

I'm not the fresh, full of energy, young, new mom I used to be.  I'm a little (OK a lot) cranky, my body aches, my bones creek and I feel tired and haggard most days.

I still want to be the happening girl in the cut-off shorts, with the firm legs, without jiggly arms and dark circles under her eyes.  

Over the weekend, I came to the realization that those days are gone forever.  Gabby headed to the St. Patrick's Day parade with a group of friends.  She borrowed my favorite green boots and sported a pair of cute (and short) cut-off shorts.  I looked at her in amazement as my mind flashed back to a picture of myself 20 years ago. 

"You so remind me of myself when I was younger!"  

Gabby rolls her eyes.  She can never take me seriously when I talk about being young, as if I was always just an old mom.  

I send her off, go down to the basement to dig out that old photo of myself.  Yes, in my mind I was hot stuff.  I take some time to think about all the years that are in between this photo and now.  So much has happened, so much time has passed, I have grown up so much.

Eric says I need to embrace getting old and enjoy it.  He is cuter than ever.  I love him with his bald head and his distinguishing grey hairs in his beard.  He has it all figured out.   His mother carries herself cool
and confident.  My mother is lively and vibrant.  They are all examples of how being older doesn't have to be tragic.  I am not there yet.  For some reason I feel like something in my life will change when I admit that I am an older woman.  I look at people on the streets and say, "I'm not that old", when I really am "that old".  I guess I'm still growing up and maturing.

I have read a few articles on the art of growing old gracefully.  I guess it's time to start figuring out how to do it gracefully with some style, fun and dignity.  Any suggestions?

Hey, Isn't That Papa?

The girls with papa at the rodeo in Michigan.

We don't have to engage in grand, heroic actions to participate in the process of change. Small acts, when multiplied by millions of people, can transform the world.

—
Howard Zinn
I read this quote a few days ago, and knew it meant something to me, I just couldn't figure it out right then.  Last night we attended Brillianteen's production of Grease that Gabby is currently a cast member in.  I went last week with Gabby's Grandma.  This was Eric and Sinobia's first time seeing the show.  
Sinobia was cruising through the program book when she noticed her papa's name listed on the William E. Harper Special Award page.  "Hey, isn't that Papa?"  I hadn't noticed this last week as I looked through the program book, she immediately recognized his name,  Dennis Drummer.  
This award is given each year to an adult who shows exceptional leadership in service to youth in Evanston. It was awarded to papa in 1993, a year before Gabby was born.  
My dad was a hero to me, my girls and many other children in Evanston.  He cared about the youth of Evanston, but especially the African-American youth, who had limited access to so many opportunities in our community.  I believe that many of the ways that I operate within the community and professionally have a lot to do with the many years I watched my dad give of his time, energy and money to the youth in the city of Evanston.
Aha!  Now the quote makes sense to me.  My dad lived the message of the quote every day of his life.  

Sinobia and papa in Louisiana.

Gabby and papa on Easter Sunday.

So Last Year!

A few days ago, Sinobia and I were singing in the car.

"Sinobia, what are you going to sing for this year's talent show?"

"Mom, I thought I told you, I don't way to be a pop star anymore...I want to be a journalist!"

"OK?"

"That was so last year!"

She's right, it is so last year. 1 year ago.  I looked it up and found the video that I took of Sinobia singing at the Dawes Talent Show last year (February 19th, 2011).  She was so confident, singing her song (even though she messed up a little, but covered it up).  A few months later, she tried out for Evanston Idol, but didn't make it.  (I tried to upload her audition video, but I think they rigged it so that I couldn't reproduce it).

She still kept right on singing:)

Sinobia is my kid that wakes up happy in the morning.  You know she's awake because she starts singing as soon as she wakes up.  She sings in her room all day long, sings in the shower, sings in the car, sings at the dinner table!  Lately she has been singing in Spanish!  I know she's alive and happy when she is singing.

So in honor of my little song bird, 1 year later, I am posting her "so last year" talent show video.  Who knows, maybe she can be a pop-star and a journalist.  either way, I don't think she's going to stop singing any time soon.