My Aunt Dorothy died Friday morning. I will miss visits to her house for cold cups, praline candy and chasing a new litter of kittens around for cuddling.
When my mom called me Friday afternoon, I wasn't surprised by the news, she had been sick for some time and had been rushed to the hospital earlier in the week. I think I felt a sense of relief, not for me but for her. It had grown difficult for this spunky, vibrant woman to slow down and rest. The Aunt Dorothy that I will always remember made cold cups in the summer out of kool-aid and sold them out of her house, was the Avon Lady, made beautifully crafted quilts, and the most delicious, mouth-watering Louisiana praline candy! The Aunt Dorothy that I will remember was always gardening and growing vegetables in her yard, kept little kittens and dogs around her house and in her yard and almost always was taking care of one of her grandchildren. My spunky Aunt Dorothy drove, even when the doctors and family members told her not to and lived a life full of love and gratitude.
Every time we traveled to Louisiana, we made it a point to see Aunt Dorothy. If we saw no one else, we saw Aunt Dorothy. In August, during our family road trip, we went to visit her, but she wasn't home. We returned the next day to find her not moving as fast as usual, but chatty and in good spirits. There was something about this visit that made me feel like it would be the last time we would see her. I think that Eric and the girls may have felt the same, as everyone was insistent that we see her before we left Louisiana and content with visiting a little longer than usual. The girls were more than willing to pose for pictures with one of their eldest aunts still living on the Drummer side of their family and aunt Dorothy was ready to pose for the camera.
When I returned home, I had several copies of the pictures with Aunt Dorothy developed (I mean printed...I'm dating myself again). I wanted to make sure that both of the girls would have a memory of their Aunt Dorothy and their last visit. When it was time to mail out our Christmas cards, I realized that I had not sent Aunt Dorothy her copies of the photos, so I stuck them in the envelope with her card. There was something inside of me telling me that I did not to be in the position of saying to myself, "I wish I would have sent these pictures to her sooner", "I wish she could have seen these". I'm glad I sent the photos to her and she hopefully had the opportunity to reflect on our last time together.
I am feeling a little anxious about my beloved Drummer Family. I am starting to realize that we are slipping away from each other; through death and distance. As my Drummer family slips further away from me, I sometimes wonder if the Drummer in me is slipping away too. Am I loosing bits and pieces of who I really am, how I was raised and the lessons that were taught to me to carry on to the next generation? Do my girls fully understand how strong and mighty the Drummer Family is and how they were bred to be independent, creative and resilient like so many Drummer women (and men) before them? The loss of Aunt Dorothy has brought these thoughts to the surface of my mind again.
There are many pieces of the Drummer legacy that will forever be a part of us. Gabrielle is so much like my dad that it's scary. There were many years that most everyone who knew her believed that she had an Aiden temperament. As Teenage-hood had approached, it has become clear to everyone that she is all Drummer; smart, opinionated, always ready for an argument, short tempered with very little patience for those who do not see things the way she does! Sinobia has the mouth of a Drummer; always talking, a little sassy, creative, a risk taker and fiercely independent! I am truly a Drummer woman, Eric reminds me of it often...stubborn, independent, resilient, a "know-it-all", argumentative, laughing only at my own jokes and loyal. Drummer is in our blood, this I know. We just need to keep Drummer in our hearts and minds forever. We owe it to Aunt Dorothy and all the Drummer Family members that we have lost.
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